The
sanctuary
Your affair shattered your world. You want to fix it. This is where you start.
the sanctuary
the online community for women who’ve had an affair
Right now, everything is on fire.
Maybe your partner just found out. Maybe you're still carrying it alone. Maybe you've been white-knuckling your way through the days for weeks and the weight of it is getting heavier, not lighter.
You want to fix it. Fix yourself. Fix what you've done. But you can't think straight. You can't sleep. You can't stop the spiral… and you have nobody safe to talk to about any of it.
Here's what I want you to know right now, before anything else: You are not a terrible person. And there is a way through this.
The Sanctuary is where you begin.
“The aftermath of an affair can be incredibly lonely and isolating, filled with shame, hopelesness, and fear. Being able to share openly within a trusted circle of women, without judgment, has felt like a warm hug during moments when I could not provide it to myself. It has become a place where I feel safe and understood by women who truly know what this experience feels like.”
“I’m deeply thankful for this space, for the women in the group, and for Alex, who creates such a safe and compassionate environment for me to process the pain and start envisioning future for myself”
welcome
The Sanctuary is a safe, steady and completely confidential online community devoted to supporting women in the painful aftermath of their affair.
Your monthly membership means you don't have to carry this alone anymore. Whether your relationship is over or you're trying to save it, there are women here who understand exactly what you're carrying and who won't flinch at any of it.
You can join today and access support immediately.
the sanctuary
My Approach
The BodyMind Intimacy Method goes deeper than talk. This is where we get underneath the story and into what your body has been carrying - sometimes for decades.
The truth is, we can't think our way out of something the body is holding. When your nervous system is locked in survival mode, your brain can't process anything beyond keeping you safe, which means keeping you stuck exactly where you are.
Where most approaches help you to understand what went wrong in your relationship, my unique approach - The BodyMind Intimacy Method - is designed to work with the mind and body while we address the patterns and beliefs that have led you to where you are.
I can help you to…
Stop the shame
Release the guilt
Understand yourself and how you got here
Find your way back to you
Look forward to life and love again
Break the patterns that led you here
What’s possible…
A fulfilled beautiful life
Self-forgiveness
Deeper, more intimate connections
Setting and upholding boundaries
Trusting yourself again
Being the best version of you
the experience
A steady, constant companion in the hardest moments
The Sanctuary is the first port of call after your affair -where the isolation falls away and shame loosens its grip.
Waiting for you inside The Sanctuary is an abundance of practical resources that you can dip into any time of the day or night, created to calm the racing thoughts, ease the shame and help you think clearly again. As well as guidance from me, you’ll be able to talk about your affair with others who get it, with zero fear of judgement - or of anybody finding out.
This is a space where all of you is welcome, no matter how messy and vulnerable you feel.
Right now…
I know how you feel; I’ve been there too. The shame. The 3am spiralling thoughts. The inability to sleep, eat or think clearly. The guilt that no amount of apologising can shift.
Inside The Sanctuary
Feel safe, understood and able to speak openly and honestly about every part of your experience in the company of women who understand. There’s no judgement here, ever.
After 3 months…
You’ll begin to breathe again. Something shifts inside you, and peace starts to feel possible. You’ll start to believe that you’re not a dreadful person, and there was more to this than you thought.
what’s included
The Sanctuary holds a carefully developed range of resources designed to soothe you in your hardest days and support your healing journey.
Your monthly membership includes:
the softening sessions
one
Right now you believe something about yourself that isn't true - that you are a monster and you deserve to suffer for what you've done. That belief is the thing that’s driving the spiral, the guilt, the inability to sleep.
Once a month we go directly to the part of you that believes it and start to show her that she is not bad. We’ll quieten the noise in your mind and you’ll begin to think clearly again.
two
Once a month we meet for 90 minutes - you and a small group of women who are carrying their own version of this. For most women, this is the first room they've walked into since this happened where they stopped feeling like the worst person in it.
I am here to coach you through whatever you're navigating in the moment. You can share or just listen. Nothing is recorded. What's said here stays here, always.
The gathering
three
Inside you'll find practices, teachings and guided audio created for the moments that are hardest to navigate alone: Not generic meditations, or nervous system regulation tools, but resources that’ll actually help.
This is to help you breathe again, for you to settle your body, for you to find some inner peace in the exact situation you are in.
the tool kit
four
The Sanctuary community is an extraordinarily supportive community that won’t flinch at anything you say. Your membership provides access to a community telegram group where you can say what's actually happening without tidying it up first, immediately feeling less alone.
The sisterhood
five
Each fortnight I record a private podcast episode exclusively for the women inside The Sanctuary, where you can ask a question you can't ask anyone else. I’ll choose the one that feels the most alive and relevant to the group, and respond to it in the way I'd speak to you if we were sitting across from each other.
private podcast
six
A few times a year I bring in a trusted expert in an area that keeps coming up for the women inside. Money after a relationship breakdown. Grief that feels so big we don't know where to put it. Self-worth. Single motherhood. The bigger questions that surface when your whole life feels like it's been turned upside down.
guest sessions
the sanctuary
£97
£97 per month. Three month minimum. Cancel anytime after that.
Regain your calm. Feel supported by a community who completely get it. Find answers to the questions you can’t ask anywhere else.
Two live calls every month
The private library between sessions
The sisterhood circle to ride alongside you
The private podcast to ask what you don't dare say out loud to anyone else.
We meet on the second and fourth Thursday of every month at 8pm BST.
“thank you Alex for the group, really! Having this space to talk to when there is noone else to talk to has been what I had needed the most at times. It has been incredibly helpful space for me, and I’m so proud for joining and opening up”
Any questions? Let me answer them for you.
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The Sanctuary is an online community created for women who have betrayed someone they love and are in the painful aftermath. Your monthly membership provides all of the tools, resources and support that’s needed to get out of your head, calm your body and begin to heal.
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The Sanctuary is created for women who’ve had an affair and are deep in the pain of betraying someone they love. Their affair is over, and they need a steady, supportive environment to find their footing and begin to heal.
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If the affair is over but everything else is still raw and unresolved - you belong here.
If you are still in the affair then my podcast is a good place to start. There's a lot there for you right now.
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Yes. Completely.
Nothing is ever recorded. No replays, no recordings sitting somewhere, no risk of something being shared outside the space. What happens in the room stays in the room, always.
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No. You never have to speak or turn your camera on. There’s no pressure here. You decide how you show up, every time.
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The minimum is three months.
After that, you stay for as long as it feels right. Some women stay for a few months. Some stay much longer. There's no pressure either way.
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Your monthly membership costs just £97. There’s a minimum commitment of 3 months. After that, you can stay as long as you find it helpful. Some women stay much longer; others move on to The Healed Heart programme to achieve the deep healing work and complete transformation that they crave.
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Yes. Many women are doing both. The two spaces really support each other and feel very different.
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At every level, you’ll have access to the full programme, resources and community support. If you want to move faster or would like one to one support, there are options that offer more direct time with me to accelerate your journey.
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Experience tells me that in moments like this, there are no quick fixes. You need time, space and support in order to heal, and in order to feel a meaningful benefit, you need to be here for at least three months.
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Yes. I personally host both live calls each month, so you’ll be in direct space with me in real time. If you’d like a more personal experience, I have a limited number of one to one coaching slots available – you can learn more about that here.
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The only reason anyone invests in working with me is because they understand that the cost to their wellbeing of staying stuck where they are is far greater than the cost of joining.
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Unlike The Healed Heart programme, The Sanctuary is open all of he time. If you have read this page thinking ‘she could have been talking to me’, that’s probably your sign to join us. You’ll be so welcome.
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Then The Healed Heart is probably calling you.
If you're at the point where the spirals are less, you are feeling steadier on your feet - but still feel lost and confused how you got here and who you are now - and you're ready to actually change the patterns from the root so this never happens again - that's exactly what The Healed Heart is for.
how to join
support is waiting for you.
You can join The Sanctuary today, and access the resources instantly. It’s a safe, completely confidential space where you’ll feel supported, held and understood.
Within just 3 months, things will feel less heavy, and you’ll have made real progress towards feeling normal again. I promise – the way you’re feeling now won’t last.
About Alex croxford
I built this space because it is so deeply needed
When women have had an affair, there is no place to turn. It's a devastatingly lonely place to be - there is no-one to talk to, and the weight of carrying the shame and guilt alone is enough to drown you. Therapy might offer some relief, but the shame and guilt continues to weigh heavy.
I created The Sanctuary to support women in the heart-breaking pain of betraying someone they love. The Sanctuary is founded upon my own lived experience, deep training in relational coaching, intimacy and transformational work. I've supported hundreds of women, providing compassion, hope and somewhere safe to land - where you can gather yourself and begin to rebuild.
I'm here to do the same for you.
this space is for you
You’ve read this far for a reason. You might be terrified, but you know that this is the space you need to begin to heal. You can access the resources immediately and feel less alone instantly.
We’re here for you.