The affair is over and now you're sat in the aftermath. Maybe you've told your partner, maybe you're still figuring out what comes next.
But either way, the heaviness is still there. Before you even open your eyes in the morning, it's already sitting on your chest.
You're getting through the days. Making dinner. Showing up to work. Doing all the things you're supposed to do.
And underneath all of it, you're exhausted because you've been carrying something enormous, completely alone, with nowhere safe to put it down.
You can't tell your friends. You can't tell your family. And even if you could, would they really understand?
That's what The Sanctuary is for.
It's not therapy. It's not a course. It's not someone telling you what to do next.
It's a steady, private space where the racing thoughts begin to quieten, your body begins to settle, and you're finally with women who understand, because they're living through their own version of it too.
You don't have to have it figured out to be here. You don't have to be ready to heal.
You just have to be tired of carrying this alone.
The Sanctuary
The Sanctuary is a steady, ongoing space for women living in the aftermath of an affair who are exhausted from carrying it alone.
We meet twice a month for 90-minute live sessions. The kind where your body finally exhales.
You'll also have:
- A private library of calming, body-based practices for the 3am moments and the days when it hits you out of nowhere
- A bi-weekly private podcast where I speak honestly into what this season actually feels like - the parts that don't get talked about anywhere else
- A space with other women who get it, walking through their own version of it
Over time, you feel less alone in it. You realise you're not a monster. And you feel steadier, even when life still feels up in the air.
This isn't deep transformation work - it's the steady ground you need before anything else can shift. When you feel ready to go deeper, that's what my programme The Healed Heart is for. But that's not what this is...this is what comes first.
And you don't have to do it alone.
Enter the SanctuaryYou’re not alone
You're carrying the guilt and the shame and the confusion, and you don't know who feels safe enough to talk to.
You can listen to all the podcasts, read all the books, understand the psychology of it, and still feel like no one in your actual life truly understands what this feels like.
That's what The Sanctuary is for.
It's a place where you don't have to downplay what you're carrying. Where your body doesn't have to stay on high alert. Where you're with other women who understand because they're living through their own version of it too.
Something shifts when you stop holding it alone.
ENTER THE SANCTUARY
As Featured In
The Sanctuary Experience
Right now you're probably doing what most women do.
Pushing it down. Getting busy. Telling yourself you'll deal with it later. Lying in bed at night with your mind running at a hundred miles an hour and nowhere safe to put any of it.
And the longer you carry it alone, the heavier it gets.
The Sanctuary is where that changes.
Not because there's a curriculum to work through or a list of things to tick off. There isn't. This fits around your real, busy life.
But because for the first time, you have somewhere to put it down.
You can land here when the emotions feel too much instead of pushing them down or spiralling. The noise in your head begins to ease. Your body softens. You stop white-knuckling your way through the days.
Over time something starts to shift. You begin to speak more honestly without immediately blaming yourself. You make decisions from a calmer place instead of from fear. You stop waking up feeling like the worst version of yourself.
And you start to feel like you again.
What's Included
We meet live twice a month. You don't to prepare anything and there is no pressure to share unless you want to.
Between sessions, you'll have access to a private library of body-based practices, meditations, and journaling prompts for the heavier days.
You'll also get a private bi-weekly podcast, occasional guest sessions, and a group of women who understand what you're carrying.
The Softening Sessions
You've been holding it together all day. All week. Maybe for months. The jaw that won't unclench. The mind that won't switch off. The body that's been on high alert since this happened.
This is where that changes.
No talking about what happened. No processing. No figuring anything out. Just ninety minutes where your only job is to arrive, and let your body finally exhale.
Once a month we meet for a guided 90min Softening Session.
Women leave these body-based sessions saying they felt a sense of peace for the first time in ages.
These sessions are never recorded, because you deserve to show up completely freely, knowing that what happens in the room stays in the room.
The Gathering
For most women carrying this, there is no room where they can tell the full truth.
Not with friends. Not with family. Not even with a therapist who doesn't quite get the specific weight of this.
Once a month, that changes.
We meet for 90 minutes alongside other women navigating their own version of this. Women who don't need it explained. Who won't flinch at what you say.
For many, this is the first place they've ever stopped feeling like the worst person in the room.
You can speak, share a little, or just listen. No pressure. You won't be put on the spot.
Nothing is ever recorded. What's shared here stays here.
The Private Library
It's 11pm. The kids are in bed. Your mind has been going since you woke up and you've held it together all day.
You don't want to call anyone. You don't want to explain yourself. You just need something that actually helps.
That's what the private library is for.
Inside you'll find body-based practices, guided meditations, short teachings and private podcast episodes - all created specifically for women in the aftermath of an affair. Not generic wellness content. Not breathing exercises designed for stress at work.
Things that were made for exactly this. For the shame that spikes at 3am. For the morning you wake up and it's the first thing you feel. For the moment something triggers you and you don't know where to put it.
Nothing here requires consistency or keeping up. You reach for it when you need it. You put it down when you don't.
It's just there. Whenever you need it. Whatever you're carrying.
The Sisterhood
The 2am thought. The decision you can't talk through with anyone. The moment something hits you in the middle of the day and you have absolutely nobody safe to tell.
That's what the private Sisterhood is for.
It's somewhere you can say what's actually happening without tidying it up first. You don't have to explain yourself perfectly or make it sound reasonable. You can just... say it. And be met by women who get it, who are deep in their own version of it too.
Over time, something shifts. You'll read a message from someone else and think I thought I was the only one who felt that way. You'll type something out and realise how much lighter you feel just saying it out loud.
After an affair, so much of this gets carried in silence. The shame. The confusion. The longing you're not supposed to still have.
You don't have to carry it in silence here.
The Sanctuary Private Podcast
Every other week I record a private podcast episode - just for the women inside The Sanctuary.
But here's what makes it different.
You shape it.
There's a private space inside The Sanctuary where you can ask a question you can't ask anyone else. A feeling you can't name. Something that happened that you don't know what to do with. Something you've never said out loud to anyone.
Every other week I choose one and respond to it in the way I'd speak to you if we were sitting across from each other.
These aren't polished interviews or generic advice. They're real answers to the real questions women in the aftermath are actually asking. The ones that don't get talked about anywhere else. The ones that make you feel less alone just hearing someone finally say them out loud.
For the moments when you need a voice that gets it, this is that voice.
Guest Sessions & Special Workshops
Because some parts of this are too big for one person to hold alone.
A few times a year I bring in someone I genuinely trust - an expert in an area that keeps coming up for the women inside. Money after a relationship breakdown. Grief that feels so big we don't know where to put it. Self-worth. Single motherhood. The bigger questions that surface when your whole life feels like it's been turned upside down.
These aren't random topics. They come directly from what's actually happening inside the group - the things women are struggling with and don't know where to turn.
Because healing after an affair isn't just about the affair. It touches everything. And you deserve support that recognises that.
"Every morning your voice was guiding me in saying you are not a monster."
~Anonymous
Is this space for me?
The Sanctuary is for you if the affair itself is over, even if nothing feels settled yet.
You might still be in your relationship. You might've left. Or maybe you're holding something you haven't told a single person yet.
Either way, life's moved on around you. But something inside you hasn't.
You're functioning. Getting through the days. Making dinner. Showing up to work. And underneath all of it, you're just… tired of carrying this alone.
You've talked it through with the same few people who'll listen. You've apologised until the words lost meaning. You've replayed every moment in your head more times than you can count, and it still sits in your chest when you wake up.
If you're still living with the aftermath… If you're tired of white-knuckling your way through it… If you want somewhere you don't have to perform, justify, or pretend you're okay…
The Sanctuary was made for exactly this.
enter the sanctuary
Still Not Sure?
That makes sense.
Most women who find their way here don't arrive with a clear yes. They arrive exhausted. They've been managing this alone for weeks or months, telling themselves they should be further along by now, wondering if what they're feeling is normal, hoping there's somewhere they don't have to keep holding it all together.
Maybe you're not sure you deserve support after what you did.
Maybe the idea of being seen - really seen - still feels terrifying.
Maybe you've thought about it so many times you're not even sure what you feel anymore. You just know the weight of it isn't lifting on its own.
If any of that sounds like your Tuesday, this is for you.
You don't have to feel ready. You don't have to know what you want yet. You don't have to have it figured out.
You just have to be tired enough to try something different.
This space isn't for women who feel ready. It's for women who are still figuring out how to live with what's happened, and don't want to do that part alone.
"...Alex is the most compassionate and skilled space holder I’ve ever worked with. She helps us navigate the most vulnerable and hurt parts of ourselves with love, honesty, and complete non-judgment... There is no one doing this work like Alex — if you’re recovering from an affair, it’s the greatest gift you can give yourself."
~Maya
The longer you wait, the heavier it gets.
You already know that thinking about it more isn't helping. That keeping busy isn't working. That carrying this alone is exhausting in a way that doesn't go away with sleep.
The shame stays stuck. The guilt digs deeper into your body. The overthinking keeps you spinning.
And the longer you wait to be supported — the harder it becomes to ask for it.
You don't have to collapse before you give yourself permission to need this.
You don't have to have hit rock bottom.
You just have to be tired enough to stop doing it alone.
The Sanctuary is here. And so are the women inside it.
You've read this far for a reason.
That thing sitting in your chest right now — that's not nothing. That's you knowing you need this.
For £97 a month you get:
Two live calls every month — a Softening Session where your body finally gets to exhale, and a Gathering where you're alongside women who understand because they're living through their own version of it too. No pressure to share. No pressure to show up in any particular way. Just turn up.
In between, the private library is there for the hard days — body-based practices, meditations, teachings and private podcast episodes created specifically for women carrying the aftermath of an affair. Not generic wellness content. The real stuff.
And the Sisterhood — a private community where you can say what's actually happening without tidying it up first.
The minimum is three months. Not because it's a contract — but because one session won't touch the sides. You need enough time to feel held, to build trust with the space, to notice the difference between how you feel in month one and how you feel in month three.
After that you stay for as long as it feels right. No pressure.
£97 per month. Three month minimum. Cancel anytime after that.
We meet on the second and fourth Thursday of every month at 8pm GMT.
This is not a drop-in. It's a decision to stop doing this alone.
Enter the Sanctuary
F.A.Q.s
I’m working with a therapist – can The Sanctuary help me?
Yes. Many women are doing both.
Therapy is where you make sense of what happened - the past, the patterns, the why. The Sanctuary is for the day-to-day reality of living with it. The moment the shame spikes at 10pm. The morning you wake up and it's already sitting on your chest. The times your body feels on edge and you don't know where to put it.
They're not the same thing. And for many women, having both feels like finally having enough support.
Somewhere to understand it. Somewhere to survive it while you do.
Do I have to speak or have my camera on?
No. You never have to speak or turn your camera on.
You’re welcome to come exactly as you are - tired, quiet, unsure, or just listening. Many women begin that way.
Over time, some find that letting themselves be seen, even briefly, feels supportive. But that’s something that happens naturally, not something that’s expected or encouraged before you’re ready.
There’s no pressure here. You decide how you show up, every time.
Can I join if I am still in the affair?
Not yet. The Sanctuary is for women who are in the aftermath.
When you're still in the affair, your nervous system is in survival mode — and this kind of work often feels confusing, overwhelming or destabilising rather than supportive. You're not doing anything wrong and you're not being judged. You simply need a different kind of support at this stage.
If that's where you are, my podcast is a good place to start. There's a lot there for you right now.
Once the affair has ended — emotionally or physically — and you're ready, this space will be here waiting for you.
How long does The Sanctuary last?
The minimum is three months.
Not because it's a rule — but because one session won't touch the sides. Your nervous system needs time to settle, to trust the space, to actually feel the difference. Three months gives you that.
Before your three months are up, we'll have a private reflection session together — to look at where you started, where you are now, and what feels right for you next.
After that, you stay for as long as it feels right. Some women stay for a few months. Some stay much longer. There's no pressure either way.
I am scared of people finding out. Is this totally confidential?
Yes. Completely.
Nothing is ever recorded. No replays, no recordings sitting somewhere, no risk of something being shared outside the space. What happens in the room stays in the room, always.
What's shared inside The Sanctuary - on calls, in the community, in the Telegram group - stays inside The Sanctuary. Every woman enters with a clear understanding of confidentiality. The space is intentionally kept contained and protected.
You also get to control how visible you are. You're welcome to use your initials, keep your camera off, and share only what feels safe. There's no expectation to disclose more than you're ready for.
You don't have to worry about being exposed here. You move at your own pace, in your own way.
Will I have access to you?
Yes. I personally host both live calls each month, so you’ll be in direct space with me in real time.
Between calls, you can share questions or what’s coming up for you in the Q&A thread. Each week, I record a private podcast responding to what feels most alive and relevant for the group as a whole.
I won’t be able to respond to every question one-on-one, but nothing disappears into the void here. The themes, the patterns, the things women are carrying, they’re held and spoken to.
You’re not left alone with this between sessions, and you’re not expected to figure it all out by yourself.
What if I'm still obsessed with my affair partner even though it's over?
That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, and it doesn’t disqualify you from being here.
For many women, the attachment doesn’t end when the relationship does. What’s left can feel consuming - the longing, the grief, the unfinished feelings, the questions that won’t go away.
The Sanctuary is a place where that can be met, without shame or pressure to “move on.” It’s a space to begin understanding what you’re still holding, and to let that attachment soften in its own time, rather than trying to force yourself past it.
You don’t have to be over anything to belong here. You just need somewhere you don’t have to carry it alone.
What if I’m not in a relationship anymore?
The Sanctuary isn't about fixing or saving a relationship. It's about being supported as you find your footing again - especially after something that changed you.
Whether you're single now, between chapters, or still making sense of what you want next - you belong here.
This isn't about what comes next. It's about feeling steadier in who you are right now.
There's no pressure to have any of it figured out. This space is here while you find your bearings.
What if I feel ready for deeper work?
Then The Healed Heart is probably calling you.
The Sanctuary is intentionally not transformation work — it's the steady ground that makes transformation possible. It will help you feel less alone, less overwhelmed, and steadier in your day to day. But it won't shift the pattern from the root. That's not what it's designed to do.
If you're at the point where you understand what happened, you can see your patterns, and you're ready to actually change them from the inside out - that's exactly what The Healed Heart is for.
Many women move from The Sanctuary into The Healed Heart when the time feels right. Some come straight to The Healed Heart without passing through The Sanctuary at all.
Either way, if something in you is ready to go deeper, trust that.
Find out more about the healed heartWill the calls be recorded?
No. Nothing inside The Sanctuary is ever recorded.
This is an intentional decision - not a limitation. The women who show up here are sharing things they've never said out loud to anyone. That deserves a space that feels completely private and contained.
No recordings means you can show up fully, say what's actually happening, let your guard down, be honest in a way that isn't possible when you know something might be stored or replayed.
It also means showing up live matters. The calls are where the real support happens, in real time, with real women, in a space that exists only in that moment.
About Alex
I know what it's like to wake up every morning with it already sitting on your chest.
To go through the motions - making coffee, getting dressed, showing up - while carrying something enormous that nobody in your life knows about. To feel like you've done something that makes you fundamentally different from everyone around you. Wrong, somehow, at your core.
I was that woman.
Years ago I was the one who cheated. My marriage ended. Some of my closest relationships changed. And for a long time I had absolutely nowhere to put any of it - no space where I could tell the full truth without being judged, fixed, or told to just move on.
What I eventually came to understand was that the affair wasn't who I was. It was what happens when a woman has spent years disconnected from her own needs, her own body, her own truth. It was a breaking point. Not a character verdict.
That understanding didn't come quickly. And it didn't come from thinking about it more.
It came from finally being in a space where I didn't have to hold it alone. Where my body could settle. Where I was with women who understood because they were living through their own version of it.
That's why I built The Sanctuary.
Not from theory or from a qualification. From knowing exactly what it feels like to be where you are right now, and knowing that the right support at this moment changes everything.
I've trained in somatic and trauma-informed approaches. But what I bring to this work more than anything else is lived experience of exactly what you're carrying.
I know this landscape. I've walked every part of it.
And I built this space because I wish it had existed when I needed it most.
