ep 63: How Do I Trust Myself Again After Cheating?
An affair doesn’t just rupture our relationship, but it ruptures us internally, and destroys our self-trust. And one of the hardest things to deal with after cheating, whether it’s six months later or twenty years later, is how you trust yourself again.
I had always believed I was the kind of woman who would never cheat, who would never cause that kind of pain, who knew exactly who she was. And when I crossed that line, the image I had of myself shattered.
I didn’t just break my husband’s trust. I broke my own.
In this episode, I explore why rigid rules, restriction, avoidance, and “being even more good” don’t rebuild self‑trust - they just simulate the numbness and self‑abandonment that contributed to the affair in the first place. So I’m going to share how I slowly rebuilt trust in myself through honesty, boundaries, emotional truth‑telling, and learning to tolerate disappointing someone rather than abandoning myself.
I talk about the mistakes I made after my marriage ended, the painful lessons that taught me how to uphold my own boundaries, and how those small moments of truth became the foundation for the relationship I’m in today.
We talk about:
How my affair shattered my self‑trust, and why that mattered
The difference between boundaries, control, fear, and protection
Why willpower and “being good” can’t rebuild trust
How honesty, boundaries, and emotional truth restored my self‑trust
Rebuilding trust through small, everyday choices rather than future promises
If you fear you’ll repeat the past, if you feel stuck between control and freedom, or if you still don’t yet trust the woman you’re becoming, this episode is exactly what you need.
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Ready to go deeper with your healing?
If you can understand so much about why you cheated but still find yourself wondering how the hell do I actually move forward from here?, this is the work we do inside The Healed Heart™.
The Healed Heart™ is my six-month intimate group programme for women healing after their own affair.
Six months gives us the time to work with what actually comes up in your life while we’re together.
The guilt and shame that can still hit you out of nowhere. The old patterns you understand but still find yourself falling into. Your relationships, your boundaries, your needs, the parts of yourself you may have lost along the way, and what it looks like to begin trusting yourself again.
Because I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life looking backwards at the woman who cheated.
The goal isn’t to get you back to the woman you were before the affair.
It’s to help you become a woman who doesn’t abandon herself in the same ways anymore.
That’s how self-trust gets rebuilt.
The next round of The Healed Heart™ begins today, Tuesday 13th October 2026.
❤️🩹 Find out more about The Healed Heart™:https://www.alexcroxford.com/the-healed-heart
If you read through the page and think this might be what I need, you can book a Discovery Call with me from there and we’ll talk about where you are, what you need support with and whether The Healed Heart™ feels like the right next step for you.
Instagram: @iamalexcroxfordWebsite: www.alexcroxford.com
