ep 62: I Feel Numb With My Husband. Does That Mean My Marriage Is Over? with Lucy Maeve
This week, I chat with therapeutic mentor and relational‑anxiety expert Lucy Maeve for a conversation that will land deeply for anyone who has ever felt confused, numb, avoidant, or full of doubt inside their relationship… especially in the aftermath of an affair.
Together, we explore the often‑misunderstood world of relational anxiety and relational doubt: why it shows up, how it disguises itself, and why it becomes so painfully loud in safe, stable relationships.
Lucy shares her own story of believing she was anxiously attached, only to discover that beneath the chase, the cortisol, and the addiction to unavailability lived a profound fear of being seen.
She and Alex unpack how avoidance, numbness, disgust, “the ick,” and obsessive doubt often have very little to do with a partner’s shoes, job, laugh, or personality, and everything to do with old wounds low self‑worth, and the fear of true intimacy.
This episode is a compassionate, eye‑opening guide for anyone who has felt alive in an affair but flat in their marriage, who has questioned whether numbness means the relationship is over, or who has struggled to understand why stability feels suffocating while fantasy feels electric. Alex and Lucy illuminate the deeper truth: wherever you go, there you are — and the work is learning to meet yourself, not just change partners.
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We talk about:
What relational anxiety really is, and why it’s so misunderstood
The link between avoidance, numbness, “the ick,” and fear of being seen
Why fantasy feels safe and primary relationships feel terrifying
The role of self‑worth, achievement, and external validation in relational doubt
How to begin working with relational anxiety through the body, not the mind
If you’ve ever wondered whether your doubt is intuition or fear, or whether your numbness is truth or protection, then this episode will help you see yourself more clearly.
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Connect with Lucy:
Website - https://www.lucymaeve.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lucy__maeve/
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucy-maeve/
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Ready to go deeper with your healing?
If you can understand so much about why you cheated but still find yourself wondering how the hell do I actually move forward from here?, this is the work we do inside The Healed Heart™.
The Healed Heart™ is my six-month intimate group programme for women healing after their own affair.
Six months gives us the time to work with what actually comes up in your life while we’re together.
The guilt and shame that can still hit you out of nowhere. The old patterns you understand but still find yourself falling into. Your relationships, your boundaries, your needs, the parts of yourself you may have lost along the way, and what it looks like to begin trusting yourself again.
Because I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life looking backwards at the woman who cheated.
The goal isn’t to get you back to the woman you were before the affair.
It’s to help you become a woman who doesn’t abandon herself in the same ways anymore.
That’s how self-trust gets rebuilt.
The next round of The Healed Heart™ begins Tuesday 13th October.
❤️🩹 Find out more about The Healed Heart™:https://www.alexcroxford.com/the-healed-heart
If you read through the page and think this might be what I need, you can book a Discovery Call with me from there and we’ll talk about where you are, what you need support with and whether The Healed Heart™ feels like the right next step for you.
Instagram: @iamalexcroxfordWebsite: www.alexcroxford.com
