ep 37: The Real Reason You Cheated (And It Has Nothing To Do With Them)
After an affair, so much of the focus goes onto the relationship, the guilt, the affair partner or trying to understand exactly what went wrong.
But in this episode, Alex goes somewhere deeper. She explores the pattern that was often running long before the affair ever happened: self-betrayal.
This is the quiet, cumulative way so many women abandon their truth over years.
Staying silent when something hurts. Pushing down needs. Performing strength. Being easy to love. Being the good girl. And over time, that disconnection from the self creates the conditions for betrayal.
In this episode, Alex unpacks why affairs do not come out of nowhere, why understanding the pattern is not the same as healing it and why the real work is not just in the mind but in the body.
This is an episode about the mask so many women wear, the younger part underneath it who learned it was not safe to be fully real, and what it takes to finally come home to yourself.
In This Episode, We Explore
What self-betrayal really is and how it begins in childhood
How the mask of being good, strong, easy, or high-achieving gets formed
The small everyday ways women abandon themselves in relationships
Why affairs do not happen in truly healthy, connected relationships
How emotional disconnection and performance create the conditions for betrayal
Why insight alone does not heal shame
The difference between understanding a pattern and releasing it from the body
How somatic work helps heal the root of self-betrayal
What changes when you start choosing yourself instead of abandoning yourself
Why the affair can become an alarm bell that wakes you up to your truth
If This Resonated
The Healed Heart is Alex’s 6-month guided programme for women who have had an affair and are now living with the emotional aftermath.
Inside, the work is not about endlessly analysing every decision or trying to get everything right. It is about rebuilding self-trust, healing shame, and learning how to hold yourself through the uncertainty.
The next round begins 28th April.
