Do you know the relationship needs to end, want to move forward, and yet still feel an overwhelming pull towards your affair partner?
This is a common feeling among women who have an affair, but often you feel too ashamed to talk about it.
So if you've ever found yourself checking your phone, replaying conversations, wondering whether he's thinking about you, or feeling frustrated that you can't simply "move on," this episode is for you, as I unpack why understanding that an affair is over doesn't automatically switch off the attachment, longing, grief, or desire that remains.
I explore what the affair may have represented beyond the person themselves, and rather than judging these feelings or trying to force them away, I invite you to get curious about them. Because often, what we're really grieving isn't just the person. It's the version of ourselves we reconnected with through the relationship.
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In this episode, we explore:
Why ending an affair doesn't immediately end the attachment, longing, or grief
The deeper needs affairs often awaken: feeling desired, alive, seen, valued, and connected to yourself
How people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and external validation can fuel attachment to an affair partner
Learning to separate your feelings from your actions and rebuild trust in yourself through healthy boundaries
Reclaiming the parts of yourself that emerged during the affair without needing the relationship to continue
This is your invitation to stop fighting your emotions and start understanding them; to recognise that you can miss someone and still choose to let them go; to trust that the qualities you experienced through the affair were never theirs to give you in the first place.
They were always yours. And learning how to reclaim them may be one of the most important parts of your healing journey.
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You don't have to navigate the aftermath of your affair alone ❤️
One of the things I know from my own experience, and from supporting so many women who've had affairs, is just how lonely it can feel when you're carrying so much guilt, shame and confusion, but don't have anyone you feel able to talk to about it.
And that's why I created The Sanctuary, a private, ongoing community for women navigating the aftermath of their own affair.
It's somewhere you can talk honestly about what you're going through, ask the questions you might not feel comfortable asking anywhere else and be around women who genuinely understand because they're going through their own version of this too.
Inside, we meet twice a month for guided Softening Sessions and group coaching, and you'll also have access to our private Sisterhood community, guided practices, resources and private podcast episodes to support you between calls.
You don't need to have everything figured out before joining, and there's no pressure to share anything until you feel comfortable. Sometimes it can simply help to know there are other women who understand what you're carrying.
❤️ Find out more about The Sanctuary:
https://www.alexcroxford.com/the-sanctuary
You can join at any time and access the community and resources straight away.
Instagram: @iamalexcroxford
Website: www.alexcroxford.com
