ep 58: How Did I Become the Woman Who Cheated?
This episode is a deep, unflinching exploration of the question almost every woman asks herself after an affair: how the hell did I become this woman?
I break open the identity rupture that happens when the “good girl,” the responsible one, the achiever, the caretaker, the one who holds everything together… becomes the woman who crossed a line she never imagined she would.
This is about so much more than cheating; I’m talking about the psychological, emotional, and relational blind spots that shape who we become long before your affair ever happens.
So let’s cancel the myth that infidelity appears out of nowhere, and instead explore the hidden patterns - perfectionism, overgiving, hyper‑independence, conflict avoidance, disappearing, rebellion - that evolve from self-protection to self-imprisonment, and eventually manifest as cheating.
This episode is your invitation to stop asking “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking the real questions: what had I stopped feeling? What had I buried? What had I been performing? What part of me finally found oxygen? Because your affair wasn’t the beginning - it was the moment something long‑buried finally came to the surface.
We talk about:
The identity rupture of becoming “the woman who cheated”
Blind‑spot behaviours: perfectionism, overgiving, hyper‑independence, conflict avoidance
How childhood conditioning shapes adult relational patterns
Why the affair felt like aliveness - and what that actually reveals
The real accountability: understanding the patterns that existed long before the affair
So if you’ve ever felt confused, ashamed, or shattered by your own choices, this episode will help you understand the woman you were, meet the woman underneath her, and begin becoming the woman you’re meant to be.
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Want to understand what’s underneath all of this?
If listening to this makes you realise there are still things beneath your affair that you don’t fully understand, that’s exactly what we’re going to begin exploring inside Why You Cheated.
A 3-day online experience to help you make more sense of how you got here, ease some of the shame and guilt, and begin trusting yourself again.
21st, 22nd & 23rd September 5pm BST
90 minutes each day
£37 + VAT
Instagram: @iamalexcroxford
Website: www.alexcroxford.com
